DC Blows

2003-07-06T04:50:00.000-07:00

So, is a mention in Slate enough to get me posting more regularly?

Perhaps.

2003-03-05T13:40:00.000-08:00

ANAGRAMMER

Agity's havin' a good ol time with the Anagram site. Just in case you're curious:

Bradley Gittern = Liberty Dragnet (or Tenderly Grab It)

2003-02-14T11:29:00.000-08:00

LEGISLATE THIS, BEATCH!

Skipper's got an interesting take on things - might it actually be a positive that legislators are piddling around, debating banal issues like banning cell phones at public performances? Excerpt:

[A]s I see it, the more time these folks spend on irrelevant measures (that the police are unlikely to serious enforce), the less time they have to mount a serious attack on individual rights.

Of course, he may be wrong. All of these little stabs at liberty may add up to a gradual downward spiral towards statism. But what if he's right? Perhaps this is a creative strategy for us to bog down government. Take this scenario:

We enlist a mob of conspirators to write their legislators about a number of issues that are simply useless. We have ballot drives for initiatives that do very little. We impede the big-govies by creating endless debates on trivial legislation. In the end, they would be so mired in minutia, they wouldn’t have the time to do any real damage.

This reminds me a bit of the popular 90’s mantra that voters prefer divided government – that gridlock keeps bureaucrats from doing much, which is a good thing. Well, the media doesn’t address this as much now, since the government is less divided than it has been in some time. But that doesn’t mean that this is an outdated concept.

In The Moon is a Harsh Mistress by Robert A. Heinlein, the revolutionaries take all of the people who want to tell people how to run their lives and put them in a room with an ineffectual leader to debate how to add new laws. They encourage them to debate meaningless issues. Then, when the windbags are too tired to keep blowing, the real leaders step in and pass a Declaration of Independence.

Probable? No. Possible? Maybe. Skippy may just have a point. Let’s do it.

2003-02-14T08:48:00.000-08:00

FAT CHANCE

Eric Peters with a swell opinion piece in the WaTi on how it is intellectually inconsistent to be for ticketing people for not wearing seatbelts without being for ticketing people for being fat. It does seem sensible that if you are for laws against self-destructive behaviors, you should be against more than just smoking and riding a motorcycle without a helmet. More people die of obesity-related health problems than non-seat-belt-wearing-accidents. So call your Congessmen, nanny-staters, and start your campaign to fine the fat.

2003-02-14T08:18:00.000-08:00

FRIDAY FLETCH

So our friendly neighborhood commonwealth is reigning in its mattress police. You would think code tangerine might make them reconsider the whole concept. But no, they’re simply refocusing the tag cops on black-market mattresses at flea markets and the like.

Reminds me of that scene from Fletch. I’ll post it for your pleasure:

MAN
Get up.
FLETCH
The door was unlocked.
MAN
Lock's busted.
FLETCH
No wonder.
MAN
I work for the landlord. He told
me to watch out for the place.
FLETCH
I commend him on his choice.
MAN
What?
FLETCH
I commend him on his choice
FLETCH
I was supposed to meet Mrs. Cavanaugh.
MAN
Who are you?
FLETCH
Don Corleone. I'm a cousin of Mrs. Cavanaugh's.
FLETCH
Where is she?
MAN
Moved out.
FLETCH
She moved out?
FLETCH
I spoke to her last week. She didn't say anything.
MAN
She moved out.
FLETCH
So you're saying she moved out.
MAN
This morning.
FLETCH
This morning? Christ. We had so much to talk about.
Moe Green is out of the Tropicana, and my sons, Michael
and Fredo, are taking over.
MAN
What did you want under the bed?
FLETCH
Mattress police. There are no tags on the mattress.
I'm going to have to take you downtown. Please give
me your weapon.
MAN
I'm calling the cops. This is for the cops.
FLETCH
I'm her cousin.
MAN
Tell the cops.
FLETCH
Go ahead. Call them. Better tie
your shoelaces first.

2003-02-13T09:35:00.000-08:00

EAT YOUR GREENS

We must protect these lions - especially that one coming towards me. They are in great dangerrrrrrakakk,,,ksk,

2003-02-11T08:02:00.000-08:00

FLEXIBLE AND IMMOVABLE!

Tony Bullock, spokesman for Mayor Williams has a beautiful DCism in the WaTi:

[Y]ou are not going to see our government participate in a government-sponsored voucher program. Once you have moved past that immovable position, we are really flexible about school choice

2003-02-11T06:23:00.000-08:00

HOWITZER, YES. 9MM, NO.

I get a kick out of unintended consequences. As California soldiers are shipped off, they are barred from buying personal backup weapons. Why? Their orders are to ship out sooner than the 10 days of waiting period required for purchasing a handgun.

2003-02-07T11:26:00.000-08:00

JUS AD BELLUM

Poking around on the United States Institute of Peace's site, I found an interesting little section on just war. Putting aside the irony that 2 out of 4 were pro-war on a site with 'peace' in the name, I enjoyed reading it. A morsel from theologian George Hunsinger:

[T]he doctrine of preemption, if activated, portends a descent into international barbarism.

2003-02-07T11:12:00.000-08:00

STUDENT ESSAYS MAKE THE WORLD A SAFER PLACE

Interesting budget item I noticed over at Skippy's place: Bush's FY2004 Budget includes "$17,200,000 for the United States Institute of Peace, which "strengthens the Nation's capacity to promote peaceful resolution of international conflicts," by, among other means, conducting a "national student essay contest." What

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm. What else might promote peace? Might there be a cheaper way? A more effective way? HOW ABOUT NOT PREEMPTIVELY BOMBING OTHER COUNTRIES?!?

just a thought.

2003-01-31T05:07:00.000-08:00

ROLL CALL

Good love from the blogroll:

Agity on McCain’s big-gov-love here and here.

Bangy with a sweet idea for the Ivory Coast.

Benny documenting John Kerry’s flip-flop on taxing dividends.

Christie answers an annoying question from an article by J. Garofalo, something I had meant to do but forgot.

2003-01-31T04:50:00.000-08:00

LONG TIME NO BLOG

Will get to binnis soon.

2003-01-15T07:10:00.000-08:00

EVIE'S CONTEST

I got an honorable mention for two of my submissions for the Philisophical Drag Queen Name Contest: Object D’Sartre and Spinoza Bottle. Yes, you may touch me if you like. Or just bask in the glow of my aura.

2003-01-15T07:06:00.000-08:00

AHHHHHHHHHHH, THAT'S THE PUDDING

You simply must read this post from Willy. As an athiest who occasionally ends up in a church, I can completely identify with him. But I couldn't put it nearly as eloquently, so go read it.

2003-01-12T18:16:00.000-08:00

MAILBAG!

An "occasional reader" of genehealy.com writes:

Just found your blog via the Agitator. I like.

One note on your 12/10 post called "Shoeless Gene". You say that: "This dude would be in serious danger of
getting added to my blogroll if he lived in DC and posted more often."

I'm an occasional reader of genehealy.com. Gene does in fact live in DC -- Mt. Plesant, according to some of his past entries. Perhaps you should add him.

Cheers,
Conor

Will do! Thanks for stopping by. As I had to delete my favorite BDSM-curious blogger for lack of posting (sorry Yagi), a space has opened up on the blogroll.

And next a cordial note from the editor of Brainwash in regards to my post about AFF and the seersucker conspiracy:

Dear Brad,

Thanks for your note. I obviously don't agree with you. First, Brainwash is more than just about politics or the "big issues" of the day. Second, Raul genuinely likes to eat good food at nice places and wishes more of his peers would look into this activity -- I sincerely doubt he's trying to impress Carl Rove or anyone else. I also don't get from Raul's article that he would have his peers eat out exclusively, just in addition to clubbing, barhopping, etc.

You're wrong in claiming that Ed Feulner started AFF; he did not.

Anyhow, if you're ever at an AFF event again, please introduce yourself, I'd love to meet you in person. And if you'd ever like to submit an article for Brainwash, I'd love to see it.

Best,
Jerry Brito

Looking into the Ed Feulner thing. The staff here at DC Blows regrets the error. I guess it is possible to be a 20-something that likes fine dining and regattas. But the article was still best read as a conservative self-parody.

And next, a retort from Mr. Damas himself:

Brad,

I was in turns pleased, disappointed and amused by your response in “DC Blows” to my two latest columns in Brainwash.

I consider all criticism, especially that which exceeds the length of its subject, a form of flattery.

Now seeing as Jerry Brito has already handled your mischaracterizations and factual inaccuracies regarding Brainwash and AFF, I’ll just make some comments on your treatment of my two most recent articles.

To begin with, I don’t see how you could determine that I “personally (As opposed to via some third party?) offered to fellate Larry Ellison” in my previous column, even if you were “reading between the lines.” The Ellison/Turner comparison has been made by countless writers, as it’s not a difficult parallel to draw. Regardless, the line corresponds with your “everything sucks”/proto-punk ethos, so it shouldn’t have surprised me. (Just between you and me, Brad: Relying too heavily on those kinds of “insults” might raise the ire of those more politically sensitive than yours truly. Of course, you may just be trawling for dates, in which case I say have at it.)

I was at first bothered by your stereotyping of DC’s conservative set, but then you tipped your hand. Somewhere between reading about your self-described “bar-hopping hooligan lifestyle” and the listing of “important truths about life in your twenties,” which includes that old truism, “A dive bar is more fun than a fancy restaurant,” I realized you were just pulling my leg.

You had me going, though, you old joker!

How else to explain skirting my main point, restaurant checks are often much less expensive than bar tabs, only to trot out those well-worn clichés about blue-bloods and blazers? Ingenious. Who but the adept satirist could resurrect that exhausted “conservative vs. libertarian” quarrel, cloaked as a substantive, bullet point-worthy argument? Quite a stroke, there. And who but the finest wit could attack an acknowledged puff piece, insulting author, editor, publishing organization and membership? Hilarious!

Seriously, though, let’s get dinner some time.

Best Regards,
Raul Damas

ps: It’s no contest: Brooks.

Wow. In my post I called him a smarmy, pretentious prick. This e-mail sure proved me wrong.

2003-01-10T09:06:00.000-08:00

REBEL YELL

After being amused by Radley's post about the Trent Lott Middle School and the fact that their mascot is the Black Panther, I did a little googling and found this item:

There is a Strom Thurmond High in SC. The mascot? The Fighting Rebels.

2003-01-08T09:53:00.000-08:00

A CRANK-GRABBIN' GOOD TIME

Penn Jillette of Penn & Teller fame has a funny piece on the TSA drones grabbing his crotch without asking, which is assault. He called a local cop. Funny.

A great quote from Jillette talking to a PR chick from FAA: "freedom is kind of a hobby with me, and I have disposable income that I'll spend to find out how to get people more of it."

[Link via Tiffy]

2003-01-08T09:39:00.000-08:00

RESTON BEEEEEEEEELOOOOOOOOOOWS

As if you need another reason to NOT go out in Reston or Herndon, Fairfax County donut-jammers are going into bars, grabbing patrons, and throwing them into drunk tanks.

[Link via Rodgie]

2003-01-08T09:05:00.000-08:00

DRAGGIN' HER FEET

Still eagerly awaiting the results of Evie's Drag Queen Name Contest. I entered a few. I'm not sure what the grand prize is, but I'm hopeful.

2003-01-08T08:16:00.000-08:00

AMERICA’S FUTURE SEERSUCKERS

Never let it be said that AFF’s Brainwash shies away from the critical issues of the day. Faced with an imminent war, evidence of bioterrorist activity in London, and the debate over a fiscal stimulus package, Raul Damas has taken on THE BIG ISSUE: that pretty little blazer-clad conservatives should really eat in nice restaurants.

Fresh off his politically-controversial piece on the America’s Cup, in which (reading between the lines), he personally offered to fellate Larry Ellison, he whines about how his circle of friends won’t dine with him on white tablecloths. An excerpt:

I’m tired of being the only person under 40 in Washington’s non-chain restaurants. “Restaurant Week” starts next Monday and I’m planning on, once again, spending it dragging my poor girlfriend from one Geritol commercial to another.

Boo hoo. If only we could all have Damas’s genteel devotion to cuisine, we too could trade in our bar-hopping hooligan lifestyles for fine dining at Restaurant Week participants like 1789 in Georgetown or Saveur in Georgetown or Clyde’s of Georgetown.

Which brings me to my thoughts on America’s Future Foundation. It is supposed to be a big tent “classical liberal” organization that brings conservatives and libertarians together. But if this is the case, shouldn’t Brainwash tackle the issues on which we agree, and avoid coming off as an uberconvervative guide to bourgeois tastes? Seriously, the last thing I need from a political organization is someone blathering on about how I should really like fine dining and sailing. I don’t need training in tying a bow tie or instructions on the proper polishing and maintenance of wingtips, either.

I’ve enjoyed attending a few AFF roundtables, but I have has always been suspicious of the organization. It was founded by Ed Feulner, the top dog at Heritage, and I can’t help but bandy about the idea that it is part of some conspiracy to make us all Beemer-driving conservative assholes.

When Damas complains that the restaurants he fancies are full of old ladies, he should look in the mirror. The fact of the matter is that conservatives have much more in common with rich grandmas than they do with libertarians. In fact, if it were not for the tighter skin and smarminess, young conservatives might be mistaken for wizened old bags – they spend their time complaining about “kids today,” going to church, and waxing nostalgic for the old days. They live in old school DC neighborhoods and vote more often. They like to shop at fine stores and eat at expensive restaurants. They judge their neighbors by their lifestyles and the cars they drive. They think a night out means going to Georgetown for dinner. I don’t know a single libertarian who would give up his twenties so that he could become a pompous dickspit with the lifestyle of a post-menopausal retiree. But Brainwash spouts this drivel about how we should all really learn to appreciate the finer things and quit living like tavern-dwelling heathens.

Don’t get me wrong – libertarians are far from cool. But at least the ones I know have learned a few important truths about life in your twenties:

1. A dive bar is more fun than a fancy restaurant.
2. It’s better to spend your time with live music than half-dead patricians.
3. Adams Morgan and U Street are always preferable to Georgetown and Capitol Hill.
4. If you have to wear a tie to go out, you should reconsider your plans.
5. The smell of stale beer is always preferable to the farts of old ladies at Blackie’s House of Beef.

Damas ponders why his pals prefer fun to foie gras:

Perhaps it’s the bourgeois nature of restaurant dining that turns off my friends. I’m often whisked out of perfectly decent drinking establishments only to find myself in some “really neat dive bar.” Newsflash: There is nothing tackier than “playing working class,” especially when one arrives to the playground in a BMW. Discount beer does not “a man of the people” make.

Oh, are your friends all heiresses and royalty? I would assume that the friends of young Damas are geeky Hill-rat suck-ups, like most young conservatives in this town. Meaning, they earn $19k/yr and live in a shitty group house in East Capitol Hill. No, they’re not playing “working class,” they are working class. A masters in public policy from Pepperdine or Hillsdale does not automatically make you rich at 25.

The only way these young snips would be “playing” a lifestyle is if they took the advice of Damas, and spent their time watching regattas, browsing at Pink, and donning their blazers to dine at DC Coast – while at the same time living in rented apartments, driving used cars, and wondering how they can pay the rent on a LA’s salary.

No, the posers aren’t the young conservatives drinking discount beer. The posers are the young pseudo-high-hats with student loans and credit card debt who scrape up $60 so that they can clink crystal at Jeffrey’s, all the while craning their necks to see if that really is Bob Dole in the corner. Drop the façade, boys. It’s just silly to see GenXers disguised as contessas.

But since Damas has taken on the task of refining our tastes, I have to assume that we can anticipate more bow-tied pablum from this stereotypical conservative. Potential insightful articles may include:

Jos. A. Bank vs. Brooks Brothers: Can JAB Ever Measure Up?

Beware the Steaming Divit: Tips and Outfits for Watching Polo Matches

Finding a Sponsor at Congressional Country Club

Buying Your Girlfirend a Hat at Talbot’s: A Primer

Old Town Alexandria: Hip to the Core

I hope the righties reading his piece don’t take him seriously. It’s not worth giving up your youth to conform to some pretentious image of conservatism. As for me, I’m not ready to give up enjoyment of life to sit around the Caucus Room, trying to look my best in case Karl Rove walks in. I pledge to never conform to the silliness of poserdum. When summer comes, expect to see me in shorts, not seersucker.

2003-01-03T06:51:00.000-08:00

HOLY CRAP THIS BLOWS

After 9/11 and the sniper attacks, Metro Transit Police plan a crackdown - on metro-riding snackers. You ever wonder who prioritizes this crap?

2003-01-03T06:48:00.000-08:00

INTERESTING STAT

From the Anthony Williams inauguration piece in the WaPo: 37% of adult DC residents read at the third-grade level or below. Nice.

2003-01-03T06:42:00.000-08:00

BUSH PROPOSAL TO LET TAXPAYERS KEEP $300 BILLION IN DIVIDENDS

That's the subhead I would have used. Instead, WaPo's subhead was "Stimulus Plan's 10-Year Cost Put at $300 Billion."

2002-12-27T02:35:00.000-08:00

KOPPEL WANTS HIS TO BE THE BIGGEST

"Look at what's being erected - it's larger than you said it would be!"
Paraphrased from Ted Koppel

So, ol Teddy Koppel is trying to limit the size of his neighbor's houses in Potomac, while building a manse of his own. The cool thing about Potomac is that everyone there has lawyers as big as Ted Koppel's.

2002-12-27T02:14:00.000-08:00

WHO'S BAD?

So W's got a list of bad guys, right? North Korea, Iran and Iraq. Now, one of those Axisites is actively looking to resume production of plutonium. Another one has bands of merry weapons inspectors trapsing about, allowed to actively look for plutonium. Now, why are we preparing to invade the first one?

I'm not advocating an invasion of North Korea. I just think that this overt attempt to become a nuclear power shows the silliness of the administration's obsession with Iraq. Why waste lives and money beating down the one country that has recently been proven containable?

2002-12-17T07:06:00.000-08:00

IN WITH THE LOATHE

The Beast's 50 Most Loathsome People in America 2002. Good show, for the most part. Remind me to do one on DC.

[Link via Agity]

2002-12-13T07:17:00.000-08:00

CON ARTISTS

The DC arts commission was throwing in bogus bids during their Party Animals auction.

2002-12-13T06:51:00.000-08:00

THE TOWN THAT EVER SLEEPS

Joshie visits the national Christmas tree on the ellipse at 10:59 pm, and briefly catches a glimpse before they turn it off at 11.

2002-12-11T08:47:00.000-08:00

TYPE ENVY

Ricky's bolted from Blogspot. Check out his new digs here for more information than any one man should really know about sports.

2002-12-11T08:33:00.000-08:00

AGITATING MUSIC

So, I’ve tried to lay off posting about non-DC items, but since Radley’s posted his “Favorite Ablums (sic) of 2002," I’ll give you my brief thoughts:

Walking With Thee
Clinic
My Assessment: Correct!

I Am Sam
Soundtrack
My Assessment: Wrong! Great bands can’t make Beatles tunes any less dorky. I recommend this record if you are a coverband historian or actually are Sam. Otherwise avoid it at all costs.

Demolition
Ryan Adams
My Assessment: OK!

Yankee Hotel Foxtrot
Wilco
My Assessment: Correct!

Last Night We Were the Delicious Wolves
Hawksley Workman
My Assessment: Correct!

Sha Sha
Ben Kweller
My Assessment: Poplicious! Aguilera for adults.

This Is Where I Belong
The Songs of Ray Davies and The Kinks
My Assessment: Correct! If you are one of those tribute-album-buying freaks that can identify who covered Cole Porter’s Do I Love You? on the 1990 release of Red Hot & Blue (it was Aztec Camera, by the way), then I implore you to purchase this one over the retarded soundtrack above.

The Last Broadcast
Doves
My Assessment: Correct!

Kill the Moonlight
Spoon
My Assessment: Correct!

Electric Sweat
The Mooney Suzuki
My Assessment: Right on! I’d pick this over Coldplay as my 02 fav.

Drunken Lullabies
Flogging Molly
My Assessment: Right off! As someone who loves both punk songs and Irish tunes, I am surprised at horrible it is to combine them. You would think that the rawness of the punk influ and the folky big-picture spirituality would come together in an interesting way. And it does. It’s interesting that something so original could also be so terribly annoying. It’s like listening to a fourteen-year-old who just bought a distortion box covering the alligator song. Run, don’t walk, away from this album.

A Rush of Blood to the Head
Coldplay
My Assessment: Brilliant!

Agity’s got great takes on some of these, you should really go read the post.

2002-12-11T07:56:00.000-08:00

SHOELESS GENE

Gene Genie takes on the warbloggers with an interesting thought about al Queda (remember them?) and the steady movement towards war in Iraq:

I’m continually amazed and annoyed by ideological compatriots who understand the Laffer Curve and buy into rational choice theory and yet stubbornly, myopically insist on a static theory of terrorist recruitment. “They’re crazy, and they hate us.” Yes, but won’t certain policies create more of them? Like, if we conquer Iraq, take over its oil fields, forcefully suppress ethnic separatism, and use the country as a staging point to bring about regime change in Iran and Syria, won’t that create more of them? “No, they’ve got all the reasons they need to hate us. Did I mention that they’re crazy?”

He also poses an interesting question: Is it possible that al Queda blew it's wad on 9/11? Or that we've successfully routed them? The implication is that if so, we should stop waiting for the other shoe to drop and start focusing on ways that we can avoid creating new recruits for terrorist organizations, like not pre-emptively striking successfully-contained countries, for one.

I'm not brave enough to say that al Queda has been successfully beaten (neither does Gene, really), but I think it is an interesting question. Like all of the "Wars on X" that aren't really wars, it's impossible to ever declare them complete. But when we reach a point at which DC residents are more likely to get toasted by a fallen powerline than a 737, we may want to start thinking about the liberty stuff again.

This dude would be in serious danger of getting added to my blogroll if he lived in DC and posted more often.

2002-12-10T07:38:00.000-08:00

THE BANE OF JONAH'S EXISTENCE

Reason's got a new blog. I'm looking forward to a little corner-smiting blog action.

2002-12-08T12:34:00.000-08:00

PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE EXPLOSIONS BEHIND THE CURTAIN

After years of bragging to their friends that they live near the Vice President, Mass Ave Heights residents are now busy complaining to their friends that they live near the Vice President. This WaPo piece describes the mysterious loud blasts coming from the property, rattling windows and dentures alike in the posh neighborhood of old money Washingtonians.

The Post addresses the many theories behind the noises - from bunker-building to oil-drilling - and gets neighborhood descriptions of the noise. From Davis Street resident Joe Rieser on the "remarkable" noise:

It's like thunder -- it rolls. The windows rattle. It's not something I'm used to. I'm concerned whether there are cracks in my house.

From neighbor Phyllis Bonanno:

Everybody appreciates that there's always national security issues. On the other hand, this is a neighborhood. We're owed the courtesy of an explanation.

From neighbor Carol Hindle:

I'd like to know more, but I do not trust that what I hear would be the whole truth. This is Washington, after all.

My fav from Iza Warner, who had a dinner party spoiled after one of the blasts knocked a mirror off her wall:

One guest said, "Oh, my God, what is going on -- an earthquake?" She said it sounded just awful. I called the police, and they looked around but they couldn't tell us anything.

Everyone was worried about national security ruining individual liberty. But dammit, who will address the effect of national security on DC socialites and their dinner parties! Shrimp will be flying. Crudite will be jostled. Witty reparte will be interrputed. Worst of all, there will be no possible way to make certain the souflees won't fall at the moment of presentation.

Where will the madness end?

2002-12-06T09:16:00.000-08:00

DC SCHOOL SNOWJOB

I love snow days. I could tell that I would be sledding instead of working yesterday. How could I tell? There was quite a bit of snow about. It started around midnight and was accumulating rather quickly.

Why do I bring this up? Because as much as I had promised myself I would lay off the school system for a little, they had to go and screw something up again.

Yesterday, every public and private school system in the area (including universities) canceled school. Except one. Guess which one. DCPS, of course. Worse yet, they said school was on until approximately the time all the students had arrived, and then canceled it. Not only did this anger parents, who had to double back or change their day's plans, it also exposed the students to exactly twice the danger that morning.

In WaPo, DC City Council member pointed out that the ol switcheroo made the school system look "foolish" stating,

"In one fell swoop, they just associated themselves with 20 years of D.C. public schools making similar types of mistakes...It just looks so bad that all the other jurisdictions made quick, efficient decisions."

Superintendant Vance cited as reason for not canceling school his concern over the students being able to get a "hot and nutricious meal" if they stayed at home. So, in short, it is worth risking the possibility of a bus getting t-boned in slippery traffic as long as the kids get their salsbury steak. Lovely.

Best of all, he blamed the original bad call and the reversal on conflicting reports, espcially one that morning from the Maryland State Police, who (incidentally) did not issue a report that morning.

All Vance should have done is what I did and simply look out the window. But, as always, when faced with a decision, DCPS is prone to stall until it is too late or make the wrong decision. This time, they managed to do both.

2002-12-04T18:27:00.000-08:00

AND NOW, FOR A VERY SPECIAL...

Skippy's got a solid post on the way labor unions have undermined private contracts - through making non-compete agreements illegal in broadcasting. Frankly, if Barbara Harrison (of NBC 4) and I want to make an early show porn entitled "big son rising" on channel 7, it seems sensible that that channel 4 might want to have a contract that prevents this sort of thing. Now the DC council has ruled that the non-competes are illegal. Remind me to not invest in a channel that has secured a certain star in one of these arrangements.

Also, remind me to call Barbara Harrison.

2002-12-04T07:21:00.000-08:00

IS YOUR BABY BEING ADEQUATELY TRACKED?

Another creepy item from www.socialsecurity.gov : "Emily" and "Jacob" are the top two baby names for 2001. How do they know this? The magic of "Enumeration!"

An excerpt: "Enumeration at Birth offers parents an opportunity to request a Social Security number for their newborn as part of the birth registration process," Commissioner Barnhart said.

2002-12-04T07:16:00.000-08:00

TRUTH IN ADVERTISING

I love this headline on the Social Security website: "If you get monthly Social Security or Supplemental Security Income (SSI) benefits, COLA Means More Money for You!" A good subhead for people my age would be "If you don't get monthly Social Security or Supplemental Security Income (SSI) benefits, COLA Means Less Money for You!"

Two beefs with the headline:

1. It's more money. Well, technically it is. But in real dollars it isn't. So why isn't the FTC investigating the SSA for misleading advertising to seniors?

2. It's patently insulting to those of us who financing these increases by paying into the world's greatest generation wealth redistibution system. Especially to those of us who are young enough that these types of increases, while paltry, are still unlikely for us when we retire at the same time the system tanks.

2002-12-04T07:00:00.000-08:00

TONIGHT WE'RE GONNA PARTY LIKE IT'S 2081

Dabbleblogger Jerry Brito shows an insightful mean streak, lambasting the ADA's attack on stadium seating. Yeah, it sucks that people in wheelchairs can't do everything that the rest of us can do, but where does this madness end? Ramps to reach the high shelves in Barnes & Noble? Close-captioning for car radios? Mandates for braille nametags at swingers' clubs? If I'm agoraphobic, does that mean that Christina Aguilara should have to provide a personal concert for me? Please?

I don't mean to sound mean-sprited here. It's just that we can't possibly attempt to make everyone's life experiences the same. People in wheelchairs probably can't freeclimb an inverse-face cliff, due to their handicap. I can't freeclimb an inverse-face cliff because I would crap myself as soon as I was 7 feet up. But I don't see any reason why the ADA should insist that the owner of the cliff should be required to install an ADA-approved elevator to take either one of us to the top.

The only way that we could ever reach total equality in access is for the govt to foist a Harrison Bergeron-style equalization plan on all of us to reduce all of our abilities to the lowest common denominator. What scares me most is that it seems that the ADA would see that as a reasonable proposal.

2002-12-04T06:42:00.000-08:00

DEFINING INSANITY

Tommy Wells of the DC School Board attempts to take Mr. Lartigue to task for his recent WaPo piece in a letter to the editor. Casey adeptly responds.

The best part - Wells asserts that Casey offers "no remedy beyond "school choice" (read: private school vouchers) that at best would help a tiny fraction of D.C. students. Wells then goes on to offer no remedy beyond increased funding of "desperately needed dollars."

One of these remedies has been tried in the District and has failed. One of these remedies has been tried other places and succeeded. I still don't get why the DC school board won't give up on the long-term strategy of throwing more money at what Wells admits is a "broken school system" and start looking at structural changes to mend it.

The common theory is that the school board is a tool of the NEA and other teacher's unions. But I have to believe that at least some of the board members actually care about students - which makes me even more concerned, because that means that the people representing are either so change-averse that they are scared of progress or they just don't understand the concepts. And this is especially troubling because it's harder to change the culture of the board than to simply outspend the NEA.

2002-12-03T15:09:00.000-08:00

BACK IN DC

After a blissful few days of absence from America's abcess, I'm back. And ready to start lancin'

2002-11-27T06:21:00.000-08:00

SLEEP IN HEAVENLY WAR-R, SLE-EP IN HEAVENLY WAR

There will be a delicious little bit of irony when the National Christmas Tree on the Ellipse is lit this year next Thursday the 5th - the annual ceremony kicks off what is called the "Pageant of Peace." I wonder if we'll be bombing villages by then.

This is the last blog for a while. I'm outter until next week.

PEACE OUT!

2002-11-26T12:47:00.000-08:00

JANE GALT, INCOME TAX SUPPORTER

Janie's got some suggestions on how to improve the income tax. She should read this Cato paper on the benefits of consumption-based taxation.

The fundamental problem with our income tax is not that it is too complicated. That is simply a symptom of the root problem - it is an income tax. Taxing people on income is messy for a number of reasons. First, it disincentivizes income, creating quirky accounting. Second, it makes many of our personal transactions the government's business, creating privacy concerns. Third, it is based on hard-to-define and inconsistent measures of income - which is explained in the link above.

So, these fundamental problems lay the groundwork for the perception of capricious application. Add in lobbyists and special income groups and tax-code social engineering and you get a recipe for a tax code that grows like a tumor.

That's the problem with Jane's plan - she wants to reduce the size of the tumor. In the humble Gittern plan, I would excise it.

If you stick with the premise that there will always be taxation and there will always be handouts, you can still come up with a plan that is better than Jane's:

THE GITTERN PLAN

1. Abolish the income tax.
2. Institute a national sales tax.
3. Take all of the government programs that give money to people and combine them into one.

It's not as crazy as it seems. It would quickly cut the government in half. And the combination of increased efficiency and economic growth could end up making more money for the Feds.

As for this one government program that gives handouts, I would call it "The Dole" and throw everything in there. Social Security, Welfare, Medicaid, the whole fat mess. And then we just set a floor for people's income. Whether you work or not, you get $X. Sure, that's a disincentive to work for the people below $X, but it would not likely be more people on the dole than we have now. And, it would get the govt out of everyone's business and personal finances.

There would also be a nice feedback circle - if 51% of the population were on The Dole, they would just vote for the party (read Democrats) who would be fighting for $X+1, right? Classic De Toqueville stuff, right? Maybe, but every $1 the dole is increased, prices are increased on everything they buy, which will hit them harder than the non-dole folks.

2002-11-26T07:59:00.000-08:00

COAST GUARD, FEDERAL BITCH

Man, remember the days when the Coast Guard was full of brave heroes? They concentrated on search and rescue - think The Perfect Storm. Well, now they're just another branch of the DHS. And if you're a kooky fisherman from Gloucester who is crazy enough to go out fishing in a nor'easter, don't bother to call for help. They'll be busy.

So I did a little looking at USCG history to see if this downward trend from hero to jackbooter was a long-term trend. As it turns out, it's not. I was pissy when they started reallocating S&R funds to the drug war. I am concerned that rescue missions will be totally off the to do list now with the terror war.

But in this article, I discovered that the USCG has always been a sissy little bitch, rolling over and changing their focus to get more cash from Washington.

In colonial times, they were used to enforce US tariffs - ironically very shortly after the Boston Tea Party. They protected slave ships (and others) from pirates until 1794, when they were mandated to intercept slave ships. During the "first prohibition" (oooh I sound libertarian there), they fought the "Rum War" (it was actually called that). They have functioned as INS's bitch in immigration and the DEA's bitch since the Miami Vice era. And now, by personally fellating Tom Ridge, they get another $750 million in their budget.

Kudos, bitches.

2002-11-26T07:04:00.000-08:00

PARTY LIKE A POLITICIAN

Why do rock stars hate DC? I dunno. Is it that we can't party?

Tina Plottel (in a vintage City Paper article) addresses the common complaint that DC doesn't rock:

Complaint: D.C. sucks.

Statement of Fact: There are times, indeed, when one is inclined to utter the above statement. It's a slap in the face to us when the closest Shellac can get is Baltimore. What does that city have that we don't? Charm, that's what. It's no lie that bands like to play anywhere but here. I think it'd help if we got this everything-here-is-so-lame-chip off our shoulder. Home is what you make it, people. Now let's see some smiles.

So, there you have it. A little pep talk. In summary, DC blows, but you can still smile about it.

2002-11-26T06:57:00.000-08:00

HELP SPREAD THE HATE

Searching on "DC Sucks" instead of my regular self-google, I came across an entertaining page for those who hate the DC United. Now, suffice it to say, I hate the DC United, but not for the same reasons as this chap. I hate them because I find futbol to terribly boring. And also because their occupance of RFK is yet another flimsy reason cited by pro-new-publicly-funded-stadium types.

But I do enjoy the vitriolic spew from this fella. An excerpt:

WELCOME brethren! This is the Anti-DC United Hate Page, your complete guide to hatred of the vile whores we call DC. What is the use of a page such as this? Good question. The best we can think of is this: No matter where you go, no matter what you do, people tell you to be good. To do the right thing. To love your brother. To love your enemy. However your life experience instructs you to do differently, does it not? As a fan of soccer, you feel the bile start to burn your stomach, the viens start to pop out of your forehead, your hands tighten into fists at the mear MENTION of the words DC United. Who are they.. who are THEY to say we are to LOVE the scum... the filth of DC?!? They are our enemies, and we as MetroStars fans are to act appropriately. So, next time you hear a goodie-goodie tell you to love your enemy, you tell them NEY WENCH! I DOTH NOT LISTEN TO YOUR RUBBISH! And then focus your entire being on hating the Scum. Therefore this page is your tool, your inspiration. If you feel the hatred rising after seeing DC win and you don't a John Harkes Bandai action figure to burn, come here and HELP SPREAD THE HATE!

Some suggestions about what to do about DC sucking:

Kick a DC fan in the ass
Get dressed as the DC United eagle and rub up against hot women
Offer a young child a piece of cake compliments of DC United, then smash it in his face

2002-11-25T06:44:00.000-08:00

DC PUBLIC SCHOOL BLOWHARD

Casey's penned another insightful rant on the DC public school system, focusing on what Superintendant and Chief Blowhard (Paul Vance) lists as "accomplishments." Among them are things that regular, functioning school systems take for granted, like actually starting the school year on the day you have planned to start the school year.

But the best part is his section on Vance's tooting that SAT scores are up:

Vance did get around to discussing what he called improvements in the public school system. For example, he told us SAT scores are up in 2002. That achievement is also noted in a press release posted on the system's Web site, which lists the city's average score as 799 out of a possible 1,600. The national average is 1,020, so the D.C. schools' accomplishment is nothing to write home about. What was the increase Vance referred to several times? According to the schools' Web site, as well as "A Five Year Statistical Glance at D.C. Public Schools, School Years 1996-97 Through 2000-01," published by the school system, the city's average in 2001 was 798. That is an improvement of one point! At that rate, the District will crack the national average in 2223.

He also notes that 799 is solidly down from two years ago, when Vance started.

2002-11-25T06:36:00.000-08:00

IT GETTING CURMUDGEONLY IN HERE

How curmudgeonly? I've been added to the blogroll at Rodger Schultz' Curmudgeonly & Skeptical, which you should peruse daily. Rodger proves that the words "conservative" and "funny" are not mutually exclusive.

Check out his latest Clinton joke.

2002-11-22T11:17:00.000-08:00

DC CHINATOWN BLOWS

Radley picks up on another pet peeve of mine about this city: Our Chinatown is nearly devoid of anything Chinese. There are probably a dozen places to get a burger there (including Fuddruckers yummy), but only 8 Chinese restaurants.

Well, 8 seems like a decent number, you say?

Georgetown – a neighborhood of whiney WASPs who drive Range Rovers and then complain about parallel parking – has 7. That’s right, our Chinatown is one arch and one restaurant more Chinese than our most lily-white, homogenous, English-speaking, soulless, neighborhood of bitches in Talbot’s hats and cigar-smoking dickspits who golf.

And that, my friends, is yet another reason that DC Blows.

2002-11-22T10:35:00.000-08:00

LET THE GOOG TIMES ROLL

Well, thanks to a fairly uncommon name, DC Blows has been held the top slot on a Google search for "DC Blows" for some time. This search usually results in the same sites fairly consistently. Here's what you will usually get:

1. This site
2. Other folks kind enough to link to me
3. Gay porn
4. Articles on some sports team that beat some DC team
5. Articles on why Playstation is way cooler than Dreamcast circa 1999

I do not mention this to horn-toot, but as a caveat to those sacred few that actually read this site:

*** If you see a link that says HOTTEST HUNKS! after googling this site, do not click on it if you are at the office (or if you are not a fan of gay hardcore porn).***

Needless to say, I learned this the hard way. Sent into an endless barrage of animated pop-ups, some of which HAD SOUND, I now get strange (and sometimes furtive) glances from the occupants of the surrounding cubes.

2002-11-22T10:20:00.000-08:00

SELF-EFFACING CHUCKLE

I ostensibly make my meager income from writing.

And I use 63-word sentences. And I don't spell that [well]. And I start sentences with "and." I find this amusing.

2002-11-22T10:17:00.000-08:00

SHOOTING AT THE WALLS OF HEARTACHE

Since Tepper's site is called Interrobang (and because Davy is verboten), I'm going to list him as Bangy. It either sounds like something the English would eat or something naughty.

2002-11-22T10:07:00.000-08:00

DAVY JONESING

When I was updating my blogroll, I forgot to add Dave Tepper’s Interrobang. I’ve actually been reading for a while, so I’m not sure why I neglected to include it. DC Blows in his section entitled “Other blogs that might be worth reading if you are suffering from insomnia ” or something like that.

He admonished me not to refer to him as Davy if I add him to the roster (which would have been the obvious choice), so I’ll have to get a little creative on this one.

He also took a good shot at neighboring Maryland: ”it is actually Maryland that has all the charm of cold pancakes with no butter or syrup.”

This egged on a 63-word sentence from me in his comments section:

Notice that the vast majority of MD is pretty sweet - from the Chesapeake to the Inner Harbor to the hilly west - it's just the parts of MD that are within 10 miles of DC that are a homogenous concrete caverns, lined with TGIFriday's and Mattress Discounters and filled with pain-feeling soccer moms with cars that are slightly too big for them to drive well.

In my opinion, you can’t blame MD that her DC suburbs suck. I blame DC. It’s blow-creep, and it's spreading like a grease stain on a lovely silk blouse.

2002-11-22T07:34:00.000-08:00

CONSERVATIVES CRACK ME UP

You have to check out this site from the Church Ladies of America. It really seems like a parody, but it's not.

Articles:

Abstinence: Why Sex Is Worth The Wait
Wal-Mart Faces Pro-Homosexual Attack
Pornography and Child Murder - No Strange Bedfellows
CWA Blasts CBS for High-Tech Strip Show

The pornography section is my favorite, including this article warning that YOU TOO may be inadvertantly be supporting porn by holding investments in evil companies like ATT (you can get porn via phone!), Echostar (you can get porn via satellite!), and VISA (you can pay for porn with it!). The sub-head is great: "Pornography experts reveal shocking behind-the-scene facts, and easy ways to make a difference"

I'm shocked! I'm going to call AT&T and tell them to NOT let people dirty on the phone!

2002-11-22T07:18:00.000-08:00

HEY LOOK!

A conservative compares Saddam to Hitler! How novel!

2002-11-22T06:46:00.000-08:00

PITCHIN' A BIGGER TENT

Randy Barnett lays out a plan for Republicans to get libertarians back in the tent on NRO. Fairly reasonable proposal. Shame it will never happen. An excerpt:

While I am not a libertarian who advises others to vote Libertarian, many of my libertarian friends and relatives feel otherwise. They view the Republican party as cavalier about individual liberty, supporting big government when it serves their purposes as much as Democrats do when it serves theirs. What conservative Republicans often fail to realize is that libertarians are an important constituency that should not be ignored or taken for granted lest their votes be driven to the Libertarian party or even to the Democrats. Telling libertarians they should vote Republican despite their serious reservations about Republican policies is futile. These concerns need to be addressed rather than ignored.

2002-11-21T10:51:00.000-08:00

DEVEINING SHRIMPERS

I used to have sympathy for shrimpers. They’re always getting beat down by the fish-huggers and the greens. But now, after years of being hit by regulation, they’ve decided to stop fighting for the ability to shrimp and start fighting for subsidies and price supports and tariffs. I heard people on NPR feeling their pain yesterday and then found this article on it in the WaTi.

Why should farmers get all the gravy?

Maybe, in classic DC form, we can start paying them not to shrimp. But that’ll make the other fisherman jealous. So, then we can pay all seafarin’ folks to stop doing what they do. But won’t that affect prices? Sure things will be more expensive to the retailer. So, we’ll have to look into fishmarket subsidies and a federal bailout of Red Lobster.

These guys have a long black trail full of it.

2002-11-21T10:15:00.000-08:00

VERDE CRIES

Holy smoke - Janey's redesigned her site in green as well. I smell a trend. She undoubtedly is trying to hip-up to regain a spot on my blogroll. No dice.

2002-11-21T08:11:00.000-08:00

VOTING GREEN

Effin’ Eh has a new, more readable look that makes for an easy transition to Unqualified Offerings.

2002-11-21T07:37:00.000-08:00

PLANNED ACCOMPLISHMENTS: TO BE ANNOUNCED

So many bloggers have waxed Orwellian on the Information Awareness Office's TIA system that I don't need to even address it. But I will point out that 1984 has hit the top 25 on Amazon's paperback fiction list.

I also found it interesting that on the IAO's website, the other projects listed have a defined "Planned Accomplishments" section. The TIA system's page simply has TBA in that section, adding to the overall creepiness.

2002-11-21T07:05:00.000-08:00

IN WITH THE LOVE

Casey on letting teachers choose textbooks.

Willy on how you can be morally for Saddam’s ouster without being for a war.

Skippy with a brilliant idea to combine a new DHS building with a new stadium.

OUT WITH THE JIVE

We’re spending $3 Bil to fill in the holes we made in Afghanistan.

Woman in DC Morgue fridge dead, but perhaps had pulse on arrival.

Outgoing Gov. Glendening makes last ditch effort to screw MD economy.

2002-11-21T06:40:00.000-08:00

FAT HEADS

Interesting Jim Grichar piece on the bloated intelligence community. Ok, ok. I know I shouldn't tip my hand that I read www.lewrockwell.com. It makes me look a little fringey.

2002-11-21T06:30:00.000-08:00

LIBERTARIAN JOURNALISTS UNITE!

All three of you. Evie posts about an IHS shindig on December 6-8.

2002-11-21T06:21:00.000-08:00

TAKE A CROPP

The race begins for DC Mayor in '06. The City Paper looks at the potential candidates. Mostly Councilmembers with a focus on Linda Cropp as a possible frontrunner. I wish they'd look outside the usual suspects. This town government needs an enema.

2002-11-20T08:24:00.000-08:00

SLANDER BY NUMBERS

Mr. Agitator does a lovely job of disputing Steve Clemons’ paper that says free-market think-tanks are shills for corporations (WaPo story here), so I won’t go into that. What I will do is look at his motivation. Perhaps he incorrectly feels that free-market tanks get more corporate money. And further, that this money trickles down the food chain to the number 2 thinker at these tanks. And that this doesn’t happen if you work for a tank that promotes the “radical center” whatever that means.

You see what I’m getting at here – it could be sour grapes that he’s not rolling in this perceived tub of corporate cash. How would he get that idea? Non-profits have to file a form 990 with the IRS every year that includes compensation of the top folks. He could have found the info online, like I did in about 2 minutes.

According to the form from last year (pdf), Clemons only took home $112,000 in basic compensation, versus the $155,000 for the EVP at Cato (pdf), or the especially juicy $195,000 for Heritage’s EVP (plus a $100k bonus)(pdf), or the dreamy $258,000 for the EVP at AEI (pdf).

Motivation to write a paper with no basis in fact? Probably not. It’s most likely just sloppy investigative work. Or gala-envy. But I do wonder if he’s eying a house in Kalorama. Or a Benz. And wondering if his peers have the cash to summer in The Vineyard while he’s toiling away at the radical center center.

2002-11-19T15:25:00.000-08:00

THE WONDERFUL WORLD OF DISILLUSION

After reading the Libertarian v. Republican banter in Agity’s comments section, I tried to reflect a bit on why small “l” libertarians seem increasingly disillusioned with voting Republican and are willing to toss a futile (but principled) vote to a Big L. (Radley even threatens a spite vote for a Big D.) So I thought back about which issues were important to me during the presidential campaigns in 1980 and 2000, how things have changed over the last twenty years, and why I’ve grown less interested in voting for Republicans.

So here are some campaign issues from 1980. The ones in italics are the ones that libertarians might not like.

REAGAN
Decreasing the role of government in our lives
Supply-side economics
Moderately bellicose foreign policy
Deregulation
Balanced budget
Ban on abortion
Against the Equal Rights Amendment
Against funding for “renewable energy resources”
Against a federal jobs program
Against SALT II

CARTER
Increasing government programs
Increasing government aid
Command-and-control economics
Non-bellicose foreign policy
National health insurance
Pro-choice
For the Equal Rights Amendment
For funding for “renewable energy resources”
For a federal jobs program
For SALT II

So in this (non-scientific) sampling, libertarians can clearly identify the lesser of two evils. Most of Reagan’s platform advanced the cause of smaller government. The items that we may quibble about are not clearly anti-libertarian:

Reagan did not have an overly hawkish view of the world – there were valid strategic reasons to be against SALT II other than wanting a bigger war machine. Being against the Equal Rights Amendment didn’t necessarily mean you were against women having equal rights – there were plenty of things in that bill that libertarians would not like. Being pro-life is not a deal-beaker, either. Plenty of libertarians hold the view that individualism is irreconcilable with abortion.

Carter was an obvious no-go for libertarians. He believed every problem could be solved by a new government program. His economic policy hurt the already weak economy. And while he had some foreign policy successes, he was by no means a non-interventionist. His foreign policy could at best be characterized as peaceful interventionism and at worst feckless meandering.

Contrast this choice between Reagan and Carter with our most recent presidential campaign:

BUSH 43
For a small tax cut
Smaller government
More federal involvement in education
For vouchers
Funding a prescription drug program
For Social Security privatization
For banning some “soft money”
For some tiny gun control measures
For affirmative access, but not quotas
For some military adventurism

GORE
For a tiny tax cut
Streamlined government
More federal involvement in education
Against vouchers
Funding a prescription drug program
Against Social Security privatization
For banning some “soft money”
For some small gun control measures
For affirmative action, but not quotas
For some military adventurism

The two are fairly similar. They both agreed that at least some Americans should get a small tax cut. They both talked a big game on making government more efficient. They both wanted the federal government to have a heavier hand in education. They both endorsed small gun control measures. They both wanted to fund a prescription drug program. So, unlike the 1980 election, these two agreed on many more issues. They differed not on ideology, but on degree or methodology.

So, when I voted for Bush in 2000, I did so somewhat grudgingly, because he was significantly less libertarian than past Republican candidates.

But Bush shared two pet issues with libertarians: Social Security privatization and school vouchers. So, I voted for him.

And what really gets my panties in a twister is that he has the balance of power and approval ratings to make these things happen, but won’t. Which means that I’ve been duped.

So, he hooked a lot of libertarians, but eventually fell short on just the issues they care about. And that’s why I’m disillusioned.

2002-11-19T07:07:00.000-08:00

THIS TENT AIN'T BIG ENOUGH FOR THE BOTH OF US

Agity's piece on John J. Miller's recent NYT piece is a stellar rant - but the real fun is in comments section, where Libertarians and Republicans are getting a little heated.

2002-11-17T06:52:00.000-08:00

ANOTHER REASON TO HATE BASEBALL

A new stadium could cost as much as $542 million. And Mayor Williams has indicated DC would pony up $200 million for it. In a city that overspent $323 million this year. In a city with one the the highest tax rates in the country. And failing schools. And a murder every 36 hours. And this seems sensible?

[link via Ricky]

2002-11-16T18:54:00.000-08:00

WHY POWELL DOESN'T BLOW

I am sooooooooo getting Bob Woodward's new book, Bush at War. This WaPo piece reaffirms my suspicions that Colin Powell is the only cabinet member with any sense. An excerpt:

[T]he book describes in detail the case Powell made -- reading from an outline on loose-leaf paper -- that the United States has to have international support against Iraq. "It's nice to say we can do it unilaterally," Powell told the president bluntly, "except you can't."

And more:

Bush decided to take his case against Hussein to the United Nations in response to Powell and over the initial opposition of Cheney, who is described as "beyond hell-bent for action against Saddam." Cheney continued to argue against new resolutions giving Iraq one last chance, but Bush yielded to Powell's case for such an offer.

It strikes me that Powell is the only voice of reason in this otherwise blood-thirsty administration. Coincidentally (or not), he is also the only one with extensive military experience. According to Woodward's book, Karl Rove said in regards to Powell that he "detected a subtle, subversive tendency, as if Powell were protecting his centrist credentials and his own political future at Bush's expense."

IMHO, anyone willing to stand up to the Rovemachine is ballsy. And I have a hunch that Powell is one of the few DC-dwellers who has the sack to speak his mind. Also, he's most likely the biggest expert around on military operations in Iraq. So why doesn't W listen to Powell's sensible cautions about invading Iraq? Dunno. But I find it hard to believe that Powell's motives are all about his own political future, or he wouldn't cross Karl Rove.

2002-11-16T18:39:00.000-08:00

PRICELESS...

Buying loyalty from the Taliban: $43 million

Buying loyalty form the latest Afghan warlords: $70 million

Funding future terrorists: Moronic.

2002-11-15T12:44:00.000-08:00

DC BLOGS THAT DO NOT BLOW

In the interest of keeping to a DC-centric theme, I’ve revised my permalinks to feature only DC Metro Area bloggers. While there are many bloggers in DC, I’ve tried to limit the list to blogs that are about politics, rather than kitties and stuff. Since this list contains the sites I visit regularly, it also tends to include blogs that are about Free Minds and Free Markets (to plagiarize Reason).

In spirit of friendly blogtown camaraderie, I’ve assigned cute nicknames to each blogger. People whose names already end in a “y” or “ie” get off easy. It’s kind of like W’s system, but less clever.

So, with the DC litmus test in place, people like Janey and Vokely get dropped. Standbys like Sully and Ginny don’t make the list. But who cares? Everyone reads them anyway.

So, if I’ve left anybody out, please let me know. If I’ve included anyone who doesn’t live in the DC metro area, let me know and I’ll throw the axe. Now on to my selections:

AGITY

I must confess that The Agitator is a daily read. Extremely prolific, Radley makes the two-foot-per-day-club and is generally right on target. Advice to Agity – more politics, less sports. Especially less about Midwestern teams that I have never heard of. Through shameless self-promotion, he has managed to get his easily readable material on sites from FoxNews to knitting.com. Keep up the good work.

BENNY

The Ben File. Not bad.

BRINKY

Author and all-around smart guy Brink Lindsey has masterful ideas on many topics. He also has ideas on war. I’ve heard he’s renaming his blog “Bombing for Dollars” to combine his love of preemptive action and capitalism.

CASEY

Casey Lartigue: a delightful mix of both national and regional issueblogging. Expert on DC stuff and education. Insightful on race issues. Unlike many small government folks, he doesn’t pull any punches when it comes to the righties. Another daily read. Plus, I’m on his list, which it nice.

CHRISTIE

Effin’ Eh’s Christie and Jamesie usually get things right. They are also in the two-foot-per-day-club, but it’s only because their column is less than an inch wide.

EVIE

I was delighted to find out that Ms. Tushnet is located in DC. She and Jimmy share the dubious distinction of being on both my pre- and post-organized permalinks. Rapid-fire insights from DCs most famous god-girl politicoblogger.

JIMMY

Unqualified Offerings provided more speculation on snipers than a wired Oliver Stone in an echo chamber. Jim Henley followed the case closer than Chief Ramsey. I’m surprised he wasn’t consulted by the task force, the stuff was so good.

In addition to the DCblogging, he’s a big hammer when it comes to the anti-war stuff and is a contributor to StandDown. Another very-principled and insightful daily read. Advice to Jim – don’t forget about the fishing stuff.

JULIE

Notes from the Lounge is a bit of a misnomer, as (much like the Vodkapooper) it sounds like it’s all about lazy, sloshy good times. It’s actually about deeper issues and can only be read by people with PhDs and those who are baked out of their gourds. Ever watched the movie Waking Life? It’s kind of like that, but more animated and harder to follow.

LANDY

Taking the Gloves Off: another guy way smarter than I am. High-quality material on liberty, race, privacy, Iraq, you name it.

RICKY

Eric McErlain’s Off-Wing Opinion is 99% shrewd observations about sports and 1% shrewd observations about the free-market. I wish he would pick one day out of the week to post about something other than the latest JV Jamaica U. Cricket Over/Unders, so that I would know when to tune in and get the good stuff instead of the sports.

RODGIE

Curmudgeonly and Skeptical from Roger Schultz is fun, funny and full of photos. A daily read.

SKIPPY

The posts at the Intellectual Passivist are usually things that I had wanted to write about. Unfortunately, Skip writes so adeptly and clearly that I generally give up on trying to come up with something of my own, log out, and retire to the bedroom for a nap.

TIFFY

Tiffany’s “The Ankle Biter.” Why not.

YAGI

While I typically read blogs that address current events, I cannot resist “Because I Can’t Sleep,” from a 22 year old local girl who is BDSM-curious. Its virtually unreadable format adds to the intrigue.

WILLY

Named the site “Fly Bottle” after an obscure Wittgenstein reference that he doesn’t agree with. How can you beat that?

2002-11-15T12:30:00.000-08:00

THE UNTOUCHABLES

Big Labor's attempts to quash any efforts at meritocracy in the homeland security bill tickles an interesting question out of Howard Kurtz in his WaPo article today:

"If federal personnel rules are so restrictive that Bush demanded they be waived for his new agency, why are they okay for the rest of the government?"

My take on the whole thing: there is no such thing as a party of small government anymore. Rs want to add federal tough guys. Ds want to add federal softies. But no one has actually fought for a reduction in the size of government since 1994. And that time, it didn't work anyway. People are irritated by the fact that government employees have a sort of uber-tenure job for life, but they have accepted it. And we understand that (due to the magic of addition), you can't keep adding legions of unfireable people without the inevitable result of a larger, less-efficient government.

Federal bureaucractic largess has become the norm. A particularly telling hat trick of passages from the Kurtz piece:

A 1995 survey of 5,700 government bosses by the Merit Systems Protection Board says that "very few federal managers bother" trying to get rid of incompetent staffers because they believe the process is "too complicated, time consuming or onerous." They also believe that upper management will not support them, their decisions will be reversed on appeal or they will be falsely accused of discrimination.

The result: "Many supervisors believe it is simply not worth the effort to attempt to remove federal employees who cannot or will not perform adequately."

As one State Department staffer recently wrote The Washington Post's Federal Diary, "by far the most frustrating aspect of my work is putting up with the gross incompetence and downright laziness of some federal employees" who "know they cannot be fired."

So why doesn't anyone in the media make a stink about this? Is it old news? Is it so accepted that it's not news at all? Is cutting government politically impossible? I don't know, but it's a real kick in the bits.

2002-11-12T09:00:00.000-08:00

ELBOWS AND TOURISTS

Generally, I remind tourists of the DC Metro escalator etiquette with a swift elbow to the ribs while shouting "Walk LEFT Stand RIGHT!"

Standtotheright.com has created a t-shirt for riding the metro that conveys the message in a more subtle manner.

(Link via GeneHack)

2002-11-12T07:07:00.000-08:00

MAP, CRACKLE & POP

How cool is this map of DC Bloggers? The ingenuitive Reen of Reenhead and Don Bruns of RatBastard actually took the time to organize DC Bloggers by metrostop.

Good fun. I'm going to use it to change my permalinks one of these days. I'm going to only put DC area bloggers on it, for your DC-centric pleasure.

2002-11-11T06:29:00.000-08:00

CESIUM THE DAY

In this WaPo article on loose nuclear material in Georgia (the loosely put-together republic, not the Hot-Lanta state), it's reported that there were somewhere between 100 and 1000 canisters of Cesium 137 running around the USSR. They were used in some creepy Soviet test. Nine have been recovered.

The most frightening part of the article is that a group of local businessmen were perhaps looking at selling one on the black market. It makes you wonder which is better - nuclear material held by a government that hates us, or loose nuclear material that can be sold to terrorists that hate us.

The two are not mutually exclusive, mind you. A government that hates us could also sell fissile material to rogue terrorist groups.

But it does seem to be another reason against bombing Iraq. Saddam is, for the moment, in charge of his WMD if he truly has them. Even when we invaded Iraq in 1991, he didn't use them.

If Iraq is destabilized and no one leader controls the country, can we be certain that WMD are less likely to get in the hands of terrorists? I'm not so sure.

2002-11-08T08:26:00.000-08:00

THE SHADOW KNOWS

More about how I voted, as if you care. I left the ballot blank in the races for DC's "shadow" members of Congress for two reasons:

First, the incumbents are shoo-ins.

Second, I find it a bit insulting to vote for faux offices.

This was the first time that it really hit home that I have no meaningful mechanism for democratic action when it comes to congress. I think it's the impending war that did it. There was no way for me to vote for any candidate who could be a voice of reason in congress against capricious military adventurism.

I guess I'll have to take solace in the fact that most members of congress are rolling over on the issue anyway and that W doesn't really care about congressional declarations of war anymore.

2002-11-05T11:55:00.000-08:00

MAY THE SCHWARTZ BE WITH YOU

Okay, I admit it. I voted for Carol Schwartz today. I actually felt a little guilty, because Anthony Williams is the best DC Mayor in my lifetime (not saying much, I know). But here's the deal: I voted based on a single issue - Carol Schwartz and her super can.

One of the only notable improvements in DC city services over the last couple decades has been the trash collection. It used to be a big messy problem. Now, it's really quite adequate.

Much of this is due to the introduction of the "Super Can," a big green trash can with a top so that the rats have to work harder to get at your pizza boxes. Also, the cans are standardized with a little bar-thingy that the trucks grab onto to lift them up, kind of like a mini-dumpster. It seems quite efficient compared to the old way. Anthony Williams has received much of the credit on this. In fact, in a Mayor's Approval Rating Poll earlier this year, I recall that Williams received his top marks in the trash collection category (sorry, couldn't find the link).

Then, yesterday, I saw Schwartz on TV explaining how the City Council was actually behind it. As it turns out, she led the charge on this. Did a little poking around and, guess what? She was instrumental in getting me my sweet, sweet can.

She's the Chairperson of the DC Public Works Committee of the City Council, the body that gets things like this done.

So, here was my logic:

1. One thing in DC has distinctly gone from completely sucking to being ok.
2. Schwartz was behind it.
3. Schwartz gets my vote.

Overly simplistic, I know. But sometimes the little things are the most telling.

2002-11-05T11:22:00.000-08:00

A + 62 = ANGRY BOB BARR

I was going to explain my votes on Advisory Referendum A and Initiative Measure 62, but then I read this post from the Intellectual Passivist that more eloquently explains exactly how I felt about the measures.

Here's my shorter take on the issues:

Ref A allows DC residents to elect their District Attorney. If Guam and Puerto Rico get to (they do), then we should get to. Fair's fair.

IM 62 is for creating a nebulous treatment-not-prison program for drug offenders. I'm not for adding a big fat bureaucracy to the DC Public Health department, but I'm optimistic that it will, in the end, cost less than throwing everyone in prison.

In the end, both of these will get the Congressional smack-down in one way or the other. Neither will have any teeth without Congressional approval and/or funding. But their passage will piss off some folks on The Hill who deserve a little pissing-off. And that's a good thing.

Skip explains it better. Go check out the link.

2002-11-05T09:38:00.000-08:00

KISS ME, I VOTED!

I think that they should incorporate the St. Patty's Day tradition with the "I Voted" stickers. It would hip-up the process. Also, the addition of mistletoe above the booths would be sweet.

2002-11-05T07:45:00.000-08:00

QUOTE OF THE DAY

On Channel 4 news today, Chief Ramsey was asked about the Georgia Avenue snipe, specifically, how quickly he realized that it was part of the spree. He replied that that they knew it fit the MO pretty quickly. Good answer. But he qualified his response with the following:

"Not that we don't have our share of homicides in the District"

Remember, in Ramsey-math, Our Share = One Every 36 Hours.

Since he set that high bar of solving 50% of DC's homicides, it would behoove the Chief to try to pin as many past murders this year on the snipers. It will be interesting to see if the MPD tries to pin more murders on them and, if so, how aggressively.

2002-11-04T06:43:00.000-08:00

NOVA BLOWS?

On Election Day, Northern Virginians will vote on a measure to increase their sales tax from 4.5% to 5%. I have no idea why anyone would support this. It is supposed to raise $5 Billion over 20 years for new roads to relieve congestion. Proponents feel that they are not getting enough cabbage from Richmond for this sort of thing. My guess is that Richmond will be very pleased with the initiative if it passes, because money is fungible and this new tax will allow them to reduce the NoVa road budget by exactly $5 Billion over 20 years.

The thing is, even if it passes, I'll still do by shopping in VA. As always, DC blows when it comes to this sort of thing. Our sales tax is at $5.75 and overall prices are generally higher here due to the anti business climate and atmospheric business income tax (which is pushing 10%).

2002-11-04T06:22:00.000-08:00

DC SNIPER: THE KITTY CONNECTION

I knew that there must be something to tie this all together. As it turns out, Chief Moose has four Persian Cats. Read more about his personal life in this WaPo piece about his wife. Come to think of it, the cats are Persian. This could also be a tie-in to the war on terror. Kitty double-agents trying to subvert the investigation from within by shredding curtains and soiling the Chief's rugs. Presumably, the PATRIOT act is broad enough to have the kitties prosecuted.

2002-11-03T10:50:00.000-08:00

CATERWAUL

Sad to see my sweet Jenni Kitten didn’t make the cut at the American Idol tryouts. Even though she once called me a dickspit, I still wish she had made it. At least it seems as if she had a fun time. Check out the story here if you are interesting in finding out the inside scoop on early round American Idol action.

2002-11-03T10:26:00.000-08:00

SHOOTING RANGE

So, the Pentagon estimates the cost of war with Iraq as low as $40 billion. But Yale’s econ prof William Nordhaus says that it could be as high as $1.24 trillion, when you throw in the nation-building, destination fee and floor mats. So, the costs will most likely be in the $40 billion to $1.24 trillion range. That sounds about right for most DC initiatives. They can usually peg the cost within a trillion or two.

(Read more on Mother Jones WarWatch)

2002-11-03T09:58:00.000-08:00

BROOKS BROTHERS

I think a sure sign of a feeble mind is the psychological need to put everything into two buckets - one good, one bad - and to assume that the things in each bucket are necessarily connected.

David Brooks, in this Weekly Standard piece, tries to tie Saddam in with Marxism. It’s just one in a long series of feeble thought. First, the righties point out the lack of Judeo-Christian values of the terrorists. Then came the inane drug war tie-in (teenagers smoking pot finances terrorists killing babies!). Now Brooks tries to tie Saddam in with communism. I assume the Weekly Standard will soon try to connect terrorism with the labor movement, affirmative action and abortion.

But could Brooks have an evil twin brother on the left, a man unable to separate different causes? I believe so. On the left, we see the same kind of bucket-vision from posts like Nathan Newman’s here, which lump in pro-war folks with racists and connect hawkish beliefs with a lack of pain-feeling about AIDS in Africa. I can only assume he feels that deep down, somehow Nike sweatshops are connected to terrorism and that more funding for midnight basketball could have prevented 9/11.

The beauty of Stand Down is that most of the bloggers have either left their bucket-baggage at home on their own sites or have the intellectual ability to reason why the war is a bad idea for different reasons than why other things are bad. Face it, there a dozens of philosophical, strategic and tactical/pragmatic grounds to be against the war. Many of them have been articulately stated on their site by pundits all over the political map. There is no need to connect the reasons against this war to Title XI or intellectual property or faith-based initiatives or global warming.

Get out of the bucket, people. Things can be bad for completely different reasons with no connection whatsoever.

(Link via Stand Down. Actually, this whole post is a regurgitation of something I put in their comments section).

2002-11-01T10:08:00.000-08:00

PEACE OUT!

My favorite sniperblogger, Jim Henley, has joined up with a motley crew of bloggers from across the political spectrum to form Stand Down, a site dedicated to intelligent reasoning against a pre-emptive strike on Iraq.

It makes sense to me - there is logical connection between being against pre-emptively sniping innocents and against pre-emptively bombing innocents. Don't get me wrong - I'd love to see Saddam's head on a plate - I'm just not convinced that we want to be the country that toasts the policy of deterrence and containment that has led us to unprecedented decades of relative peace.

2002-11-01T09:58:00.000-08:00

WHY I MISS RONNIE

Check out this insightful post Dwight Meredith. He takes a look at which party is the real party of small government. As it turns out, over the last 20 years, 369,000 non-defense employees were added to the federal payroll. Quess who did it?

Mostly GOPers.

84% were added under Republican administrations and 16% were added under Democratic administrations. Granted, this analysis is based on administrations and not control of congress, but it's still telling.

Side note: Reagan was the balls when it came to this stuff - only 3,000 were added to the workforce on his watch.

[Link via The Ag]

2002-11-01T09:19:00.000-08:00

ROGER & ME

Roger Schultz of the visually entertaining Curmudeonly & Skeptical kindy threw me a link a couple weeks ago that doubled my traffic (from 2 to 4). Since there is truly nothing of value on this miserable attempt at cogent thought and coherent argument, I have to assume that it is because he likes kitties.

In addition to posting entertaining little visuals, Roger is right on the money on most issues. Here are his stats today:

1. Kathleen KENNEDY Townsend and the Dems are hypocritical when they say that every vote needs to count and then proceed to get votes against them thrown out on technicalities.

2. Jury Nullification is an abuse of the legal system.

3. Mr. Bellesiles is hack. And a fiction-writing pseudo-scholar.

4. The American Conservative Union has opened a Voter Fraud Hotline.

5. People who go to an Al Gore led rally in Baltimore to elect one of the dumber Kennedys Governor of Maryland are nincompoops.

Answers:

1. TRUE

2. FALSE

3. TRUE

4. TRUE

5. TRUE

Score: 80%

See, he got a B. Not bad.

2002-10-29T16:10:00.000-08:00

WOULD YOU LIKE FLIES WITH THAT?

OK, so it’s not surprising that the cafeterias of 14 DC Public Schools failed inspections by the health department (that’s over a quarter of the schools inspected, for those of you who are placing bets on the over/under). Nor is it terribly unexpected that there would be some unsavory examples of less-than-ideal conditions. From the WaPo article:

At Shaw [Junior High School], health inspectors in September found standing water around a kitchen drain, an obstructed grease trap with live roaches and flies, a refrigerator with an internal temperature of 56 degrees and two dead mice near the ovens. The dumpster area had standing water, and the kitchen bathroom's door was propped open most of the time, the reports said.

What is surprising about this whole brouhaha is that Superintendent Paul Vance and others acted surprised. Vance called the situation “unbelievable.”

But guess what – it’s pretty believable.

Right around the time Dr. Vance took the job, in the summer of 2000, DC City Council Member Mendelson visited the warehouse where food was stored for public schools. Guess what he found? Same thing. 85 degree storage temperatures and insect and rodent infestation.

In of the fall of that year, 30 students became sick from the same sort of thing. From the September 14, 2000 WaPo article about Gibbs Elementary:

Investigators believe the Gibbs students became ill after eating food that had been stored over Labor Day weekend in a warm refrigerator. When investigators checked the equipment last week, the temperature was 60 degrees--20 degrees warmer than the standard. Health officials, who originally suspected that the lunches' bologna sandwiches had caused students to become ill, said yesterday that chocolate milk stored in the warm refrigerator also could be to blame.

In October of 2000, Benning Elementary was investigated as a potential source of Legionnaires' disease when a school worker contracted the disease. While officials said they identified a number of conditions that could have promoted growth of Legionnaires, the source was never identified.

From the December 5, 2000 WaPo:

Despite promises by a succession of D.C. superintendents to fix deteriorating school buildings, officials acknowledge that most of the city's 148 schools remain in poor physical condition. Some schools, like Moten, lack working bathrooms and have windows so discolored that nobody can see out of them. Some have broken water fountains and playgrounds that are unsafe for children to use. In other schools, water cascades into classrooms during heavy rains, while grease or sewer water backs up into cafeterias or kitchens. Halls and classrooms are dimly lighted by faltering electrical systems. Ceiling tiles are caving in. Several schools show signs of rat infestations.

In Dr. Vance’s defense, he did put the offending principal and others on leave (albeit paid leave), but the fact of the matter is that without school choice, problems like these will continue to arise.

If parents had a choice, I would have to guess that they would remove their children from schools that are dangerous. And schools that lack the ability to educate their children. And, yes, from schools that either poison their children or have them eat in filthy conditions.

2002-10-26T06:38:00.000-07:00

THANKS, WAPO ONLINE!

Wheeeeeeeeeeeew. I was concerned about disounted travel. But now, thanks to incessant pop-ups from Orbitz and CheapTickets, my problems are solved. It's a good thing I travel serveral times a day and that you have accomodated my schedule by providing pop-ups each and every time I visit. Thanks again. It's a real pleasure.

2002-10-25T13:08:00.000-07:00

WHY CHIEF RAMSEY HAS BEEN LO-PRO

Thinking back on the early days of the sniper attacks, I remember Chief Moose saying things like, “our homicide rate just increased by 25% in one day.” What I find most interesting about these statements is that Montgomery County and the District are roughly the same size – between 500,000 and 1,000,000 residents in each – but our murder stats are not similar at all.

Montgomery County had 19 homicides last year, so the five snipings boosted their number of homicides by about 26%.

DC had 233 homicides last year, so the one DC sniping boosted our number of homicides by about 0.4%

It’s not surprising that Chief Ramsey has maintained a low profile – if he became too much of a spokesman in the case, it may draw attention to the fact that it is just one of hundred in our shining city. Granted, we are in much better shape than the mid-90s when you could count on a murder every day. But a murder every 38 hours is still a bit disconcerting and makes you wonder whether the MPD is spending a little too much time playing with red light cameras and not enough time working on violent crime.

Assume for the sake of argument that the slow trend toward fewer murders in DC continues. We had about a 4% decrease in offings last year. If this continues, we should have around 224 in 2002. The target goal for solving homicides had been set at 50%. So, even with an improvement this year, we’re still looking at an unsolved murder every three days or so. Not cool.

Incidentally, if you ever tune into CNN and hear Chief Ramsey say, “our murder rate just increased 25% in one day,” head for the hills. That would mean that nearly 60 people had been smoked.

2002-10-25T07:32:00.000-07:00

WHO ELSE THINKS DC BLOWS?

As I am not 14 anymore, I can't really get too exited about googling myself more than once a day anymore. Plus, I'm concerned about repetitive-stress injuries in the hand and wrist. That said, I gave myself a quick searchie early this morning and found someone else who thinks DC blows.

Some unnamed aficianado of fantasy soccer posits that "DC blows monkey ass." Sadly, upon further investigation, it appears he is talking about some soccer team and not the federal bureaucracy. Well, I'm aware that there is a sport called soccer, but I don't know much about it. What I do know about it, I don't much like. Here's why:

1. It appears to be a sport that turns otherwise normal suburban moms into pain-sharing Clintonites.

2. About once a year, it inhibits my ability to have a quiet meal at some South American restaurant.

3. It often gives Brazilians another reason to party, which seems patently unfair.

So, while I share this gentlemen's opinion that DC blows, I really can't share this obsession with soccer, much less fantasy soccer.

2002-10-24T12:20:00.000-07:00

CHIEF NIMBY

As I was grabbing lunch today at Krupin's (which very well may be the only good Jewish Deli in DC) in Tenleytown, I picked up a copy of that neighborhood's local paper, the Northwest Current. A front page article addresses the American Tower issue. In short, a new tower was halfway erected when local anti-property rights activists got the mayor to yank the rug out of under the project, leaving a half-built tower. You can check out the anti-tower site at Stop the Tower. The tower company (of course) sued DC since the tower had been approved.

Keep in mind, this is not a battle over putting a tower in the middle of the Reflecting Pool. It is putting a tower right next to a bunch of other towers. Sure, this one is taller, but who cares? It's not going to all of the sudden make that ugly little peak significantly uglier. The reasons for their objections to this tower cannot possibly be asthetic or they would be trying to demo that whole hill and looking for some historic national tragedy so that they could put in a new marble tribute to (insert mass death here). So, the objection is to a long, tall tower (insert comment about their deep-seeded Freudian fears of inadequate equipment here).

Cell coverage in this town blows. You can't drive up any of the major roads more than 2 miles without getting dropped. And anti-tower agitators are not helping the situation. Face it, we live in the only major city that has a bizarre height restriction. That means we have no super-cool scrapers on which to put antennas. So, that means, we can either live in a one-bar reception wasteland or live with towers.

My suggestion to Tim Cooper and the other heightists: protest by canceling your mobile phone service. And you better not ever consider getting HDTV. Same goes for pagers and wireless internet. I hope your car radio gets ripped off with much egregious and unnecessary window-smashing.

Unless you are a complete Luddite, you simply must come to terms with the trend toward wireless everything. That means towers.

Please feel free to poke fun at these self-rightous electronphobes at stopthetower@marginata.com.

Peter Long

2002-10-24T08:19:00.000-07:00

GOOD KITTY.

The kind, forgiving and lovely Jenni at Kitten Kiss has responded to my Top 20.

2002-10-24T08:03:00.000-07:00

SNIPE THIS, BITCH!

Well, they may have caught the sniper(s), according to this WaPo piece and the consistently breaking news (after what number of hours does it become silly to continue to call it "breaking?). I hope they've caught the right guy. If not, I hope Mr. Snipeyface takes this as an opportunity to give it up. One quibble with a law enforcement statement. The Post reports:

"The lack of such clues suggests to investigators that the sniper is meticulous in his activities and probably wears gloves when firing his weapon or writing letters to police.

'It's another indication that we are dealing with a very, very careful guy,' a law enforcement official said."

Meticulously wearing gloves while writing a letter to the cops in his own handwriting? If so, Mr. Muhammad/Williams is meticulous, but not terribly bright.

2002-10-18T14:42:00.000-07:00

SNIPERIFFIC!

I have received thousands of e-mails about the sniper, wondering how I feel that contributes to the overall blowage of DC. Frankly, I think it blows, but it makes me think a bit about what I consider DC geographically. Is it the Metro Area? Is the beltway the barrier? I'm inclined to think that I'm going to focus on DC proper more than anything in these weakly musings.

One of the murders was inside the DC city limits. If it weren't connected to the sniper, I doubt it would have made the papers. Perhaps you've heard this before, but murder isn't all that rare here in the district. The MPD just reduced their murder solving target to 50%. So, if you're hip to murdering someone, DC is a good place for that sort of thing since it's about even money that you'll get away with it. Montgomery and Fairfax Counties are a different story. These are rich suburban enlaves with police departments that take murder seriously. People make fun of Chief Moose, but I'd put money on the Montgomery County cops solving this thing over the other local police departments.

That said, I have been holed up in my basement for the last three weeks, messing my jammies everytime I spot a van through the recently-installed periscope. For a dozen square feet of insightful sniperblogging, check out DC suburbanite Jim Henley's Unqualified Offerings. He's all over this thing.

2002-10-18T11:46:00.000-07:00

ONE FOR THE CATTY FILES

Jenni Kitten of the inimitable Kitten Kiss weblog has taken me to task for my anti-catblog vitriol:

Hey there. Just wanted to make a suggestion. Next time you link to someone else's blog, make sure you actually read some of the content before jumping to conclusions. Just because I have pictures of my cat in my template doesn't mean I blog about my cat. Obviously, you didn't even read any of my entries, or you would have realized that. I also checked out a couple of the other sites you linked to, and found the same results. Even if you had actually found sites that were dedicated to blogging about cats, why does that even matter? Reality check ... People have the right to blog about whatever the fuck they want to, and you have no business ridiculing them for it. At any rate, thanks for the extra hits. Anyone with half a brain will see that you have no idea what the hell you're talking about.

So I did a little poking around on her site and found she is completely correct. I say this not because she is strikingly beautiful in the photo on her site (I swear!), but because she’s right. The content is really more shoe and diet driven, which I like, because, hey, I’ve got feet and fat cells. (Incidentally, she’s completely adorable the way she is and doesn’t need to change a thing, so she should stop wasting time dieting and refocus her energies on starting a blog-on-blog romance with a slightly-jaded cat-hating DC-area gentleman, but I digress).

In fact, in her list of 100 Things About Jenny, the kitty didn’t even make the top 20, coming in at 21:

21: I let her kiss me on the lips all the time, even though her tongue hurts like hell.

I assume that entry is about the kitty. Although, when you think about it, if that entry is not about the cat, so much the better.

In the spirit of contrite apology, I humbly offer the Top 20 Reasons Kitty Kiss Doesn’t Blow:

1. The site is kitty-themed, not about kitties. And that’s a bit difference.

2. Jenni is studying Zoology, which, despite being the last section of the course catalog, makes for some pretty sweet cocktail party conversation.

3. Just because you post strangers’ photos of kitties, that doesn’t mean your site is about kitties.

4. She owns more than four pairs of flip-flops, which shows a certain savoir vivre.

5. She may be clairvoyant.

6. Jenni, by deduction from her e-mail, has at least one half of a brain, which is really all you need for the day-to-day stuff.

7. She obviously has a well-developed sense of irony, since the same day she e-mails “People have the right to blog about whatever the fuck they want to, and you have no business ridiculing them for it,” she posts a blurb about me entitled “Moron Alert.”

8. Unlike most other cat-themed blogs, this one has nothing about daytime TV.

9. She’s 21, which rocks on a number of different levels.

10. Did I mention that she is completely cute?

11. Jenni and I share a love/strong-dislike relationship with carbs, which brings me to…

12. She’s not a hater and is quick to forgive, which gives me hope that we may someday be able to put all of this behind us.

13. We share the viewpoint that Snow White was a little sissy bitch.

14. One of her devoted readers, Tyler, hopes I get crabs, to which I concur, as it seems like a small price to pay for actually having sex. I am assuming he’s hoping that I get crabs from intercourse and not from a toilet seat – that would just be mean-spirited.

15. I find it indearing when someone refers to me as “dickspit.”

16. Jenni’s been told she has a very unique way of kissing, a bit of an interest-piquer for me.

17. She’s never spent more than $50 on a pair of shoes, which shows a certain sensibility.

18. Just because the subtitle is “Inside the Feline Mind” doesn’t mean that it is all about kitties.

19. She’s unafraid to pull out a jug of sassback when necessary.

20. On the far off chance that she may someday be my sweet butterup, I don’t want this little tiff to set us back in our pursuit of beautiful bliss.

Anyhoo, visit her site. Drop her a note. See if she’s willing to forgive me. Also, you can take a test to see what fruit you are. I came out as sour grapes.

Ok, enough fun. Back to work,
Sammy

2002-10-18T09:49:00.000-07:00

DC BLOWS, BUT BRITISH GYNOS ROCK!

Reader mail from one Kroi, a kind gentleman in the UK:

As an Ob/Gyn (and a frequent blog reader) I can knowledgably say "Good masturbatory show" and I do hope you carry on ;)

Thank you, Dr. K. And feel free to include me in your "Bring a Blogger to Work Day"

2002-10-10T10:38:00.000-07:00

RUM PUNCH

Harry Belafonte, best known for his little ditties about swilling rum and counting bananas, took a jab at Colin Powell yesterday, essentially calling him a houseboy on the Bush Plantation:

In the days of slavery, there were those slaves who lived on the plantation and there were those slaves that lived in the house ... Colin Powell's committed to come into the house of the master. When Colin Powell dares to suggest something other than what the master wants to hear, he will be turned back out to pasture.

Belafonte then went on to beat on Ashcroft a little bit. Frankly, I’m prone to get my frillies in a knot anytime an African-American on the left chastises a black conservative for not being “black” enough. But this time, it’s wrong on many different levels, beyond the obvious uncletomadhominism:

Out of everyone in Bush’s cabinet, Powell has been the voice of reason. He is the least likely to say “yesmassuh” on the war. Rather than jumping on hawkwagon with the rest of the gang, Powell has consistently been on the side of careful calculation and the only one that has brought up the potential unintended consequences of war with Iraq.

Belafonte’s criticism also does a disservice to African-Americans by perpetuating the myth that black people only get ahead by kowtowing to the white man. Many black conservatives have faced this unfounded accusation, but nowhere is the folly of this position more obvious than in the career of Colin Powell. While I disagree with Powell on a number of issues, the fact is that he was the obvious choice for SoState, race or no race. He has proven his level-headed leadership time and time again and was the best candidate for the role.

Thirdly, Colin Powell is a much more reasonable role model for young black men and women. Black leaders tend to decry the lack of positive role models, criticizing rappers and ballers and their roughneck lifestyles. Well, guess what? Powell is an officer and a gentleman – a successful speaker and soldier and one hell of a leader. If I had a choice between a role model of an established statesman and a guy that sings about bananas, I know which one I would pick. But, for the sake of argument, let’s take a look at some of the things Belafonte and Powell have said on a number of topics.

Colin Powell on Venezuela:

We condemn the blows to constitutional order that Venezuela has suffered. We look to the legal authorities of Venezuela to hold accountable all who violated the law both before and during the recent crisis. And we call upon President Chavez to follow with deeds his new pledges of national reconciliation and respect for democratic principles…In a democracy, no one can be above, or outside of, the rule of law. Democracies do not remain democracies for long if elected leaders use undemocratic methods. And defending democracy by resorting to undemocratic means destroys democracy.

Harry Belafonte on Venezuela:

Matilda, she take me money and run Venezuela. Everybody! Matilda, Matilda, Oom, ba-locka-chimba!

Colin Powell on Kingston, Jamaica:

[W]e are in close touch with the Jamaican government. We have very good relations with them. I don’t have any specific programs in front of me at the moment and it’s really an internal domestic police problem that they face with respect to controlling violence within Kingston and other cities in the country.

Harry Belafonte on Kingston, Jamaica:

My heart is down, my head is turning around, I had to leave a little girl in Kingston town

Colin Powell on aviation:

Another foreign policy success is the improvement we have achieved in our relations with Europe. In waging war together on terrorism, our cooperation has grown stronger…the European Union has moved swiftly to…improve law enforcement and aviation security cooperation.

Harry Belafonte on aviation:

Senora, she's a sensation, The reason for aviation, And fellas, you got to watch it, When she wind up, she bottom, she go like a rocket!

So , if we’re choosing role models, I’ll take the one who talks about the rule of law and constitutional democracy. You can have the one that chants “Oom, ba-locka-chimba!”

That doesn’t mean that there aren’t any “houseboy” yes-men in the administration. I’d say Ashcroft may be hoping for a move to the massuh’s house someday. I bet if Bush asked, Ashcroft would jump down, turn around and pick a fight with anyone. It just means that Belafonte was off-target when he picked on Powell when our Secretary of State seems to be the last hope for cautious reason in this overly bomb-happy administration.

2002-10-06T02:31:00.000-07:00

DOES ANYONE ELSE THINK THAT DC BLOWS?

Eric Sunday, of the Baltimore-based punk band National Razor does in this interview in Spore Magazine. A sample:

ES- I grew up outside of DC. DC blows, they wouldn’t let Punk bands play at any of the big clubs so I moved up here and this has one of the best scenes on the East Coast.

See, I told you. Actually, I was about to mock them when I pimped a few of their mp3s (available here) and I kind of dig these fellas. They make me want to pull out my old Black Flag LPs and find my skateboard. Also, they make me want to break something, I feeling I sometimes enjoy. Goes to show ya, it pays to google "DC Blows"

2002-10-06T02:04:00.000-07:00

DC BLOWS MAILBAG

Here's my first piece of reader mail from one Ev.:

Hi Pete,

Thanks for signing up with Blogger. As you probably know by now, Blogger is a free, web-based tool that helps you publish to the web instantly.

This is just a note that you can keep around that has your username and password. If you're like me, you have a bunch of different usernames and passwords at a bunch of different sites, and you need these kind of notes when you're stuck trying to remember which goes where. If you're not like me, delete away. ;)

If you haven't already created a blog and want to, go back to blogger.com and look for the section of the page titled "Your Blogs". Then click the link that says, "Create a new blog". You will get instructions from there, and you'll be a few steps away from creating a weblog.

Thanks again for using Blogger. Have fun!

Ev.

Nice! I hope Ev. is a girl. She probably is. Maybe short for Evelyn or Evita or something. I like the ladies that use winking emoticons.